Yellow Rock #faroutstars

My Sunday started like most others.

Impeachment trials. CBS Sunday morning. Saints Sunday. Impromptu hike to yellow rock.

When we arrived at the lookout, I felt that the energy was off. We were made aware that a young man was hurt below. And people were working there way to him. And more were in route.

As I assessed the situation, I was amazed by the calmness of all.

A young man had been climbing/hiking alone. Nobody knew him. He was responsible and some other hikers had made there way down to attempt to assist him.

The crowd on the rock became larger as time slowing ticked by. Eventually search and rescue arrived. I have been noticing everyone seems to be so busy theses days. And when I hear someone say just been busy. Or I’m. Hoping it will slow down around the corner. Waiting on the rock for that trained magic men, I felt no need to be anywhere else. Actually I was fascinated by the people saving experience that I was witnessing.

I felt very present in the moment on the mountain. I reminisced about past training knowledge and experience that I have had previously. I felt weirdly useful in helping to explain some of the procedures that we were witnessing a the search rescue team worked there magic.

Sometime I often struggle to know where to fit into the mix or moment. In this afternoon experience, I felt more in tune with my place in the puzzle.

Sure hope the #faroutstar who fell is getting the help he currently needs. I appreciate all the magical amazing rescue team who were very impressive to watch help this young man. True #faroutstars

19-year-old man airlifted after fall at Devil’s Den State Park

Little Libraries.

My husband worked for three years on this little library. It was a sweet precious gift. I have loved little libraries since my first discovery of them. And little pantries that began in Northwest Arkansa also are such a special also!

I have dreamed of seeking out all the little libraries in Northwest Arkansas and showing them some love!


Someday maybe!!

Though my big hope is to see a repurposed Star Shopper newspaper box into a little free library in my front yard. I have dreamed of this for years. Renee began the repurposing of the box two years ago. This summer I added to it. It’s basic and not quite finished but it’s finished enough to be put in the yard. Though it continues to sit in our backyard dues to a fight disagreement or whatever else you want to call it between my husband and I. He doesn’t want it and I do. So how do we work this out. Who knows. For now I continue to feel frustrations and feelings of why not. His argument is that he doesn’t think it’s needed it looks trashing and is not willing to put it out until I remove the other plastic star shopper box. And I refuse to remove it. At some point I will drag it out to the curb myself.

I joke that it may be a continue piece of contingency between chris and I. I may drag it out there then he drag it back to the back yard. And back and forth until one of our backs goes completely out and we no longer can do it.

It’s kind of a joke but it really is a huge frustration for me.

I think why not. Is it really hurting anything to have it. Because the fight hurts my feelings. And my not wanting to give in to his requests seems to hurt his feelings. Control is ultimately the issue. Who’s in co trip. Who gets to make the decisions for our house.

It’s my house it’s my street it’s my yard too. In many of my friends relationships they seem to want something and the spouse seems to just agree and do it. Though in my world it feels like I have an idea and I must convince chris to the idea. Sometimes I wish it weren’t so difficult and I could do what I want. In the overall scheme of thing I know I can but I don’t want to hurt his feeling.

Modern Love!

In Mitch Albom’s book Tuesday’s with Morrie, Morrie speaks of allowing grief in our lives. Like grieving the end of a good book! Just watched a series on Amazon that makes me sad to end it! Similar to how I felt when M.A.S.H, Friends, Senifield, or Parenthood ended!

If you need a sweet story of all kinds of life, love and loss, watch Modern Love on AMAZON! Once again adoption is everywhere! Lots of ups, downs and all arounds! so many #faroutstars!

CBS Sunday morning is sometimes the show that helps me get to the emotions that I tend to bury and struggle to allow myself to feel.   For as long as I can remember, I run and hid from my emotions.  They scare me!   They overwhelm me!  They hurt! They embarrass me!

As REM wrote “Everybody Hurts”!

Fear seems to be the one emotion that I sit in often in my life.  My fear seems to paralyze me time and time again.  Wether it is facing the truths of my birth or to speaking from my authentic place due to the fear of what others with think.    A women in my group often says your words, your actions will not cause anyone to die. I give my thoughts an overwhelming amount of power! I hear this and it makes so much sense, though I continue to be struggling to speak my hopes, dreams and frustrations due to the pain that may come.  Though theses overwhelming thoughts continue to cause me the most damage and destruction of my authentic self.

CBS Sunday morning helps me cry almost every week.   This week it was a story of Chika!  Such a sweet special young girl who lived a short life!  Mitch Albom and his wife adopted her into their lives!  Chika’s life story and the Albom’s love for her overwhelmed me!  Love is overwhelming!

Chika’s life may be over but her spirit and story will forever change many for good!  For me it allowed me to release some tears and be reminded that we only get one chance to be here.  So work hard to be who you are!  Your being won’t kill anyone!

New book, ‘Chika’ to publish November 2019

New book, ‘Chika’ to publish November 2019